so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
