I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
