girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
