FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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