Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
