lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
