Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?

(314): View more from Missouri

you had an obligation.

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(913): So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right? (314): you had an obligation. http://tfl.nu/0hhp

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(913): View more from Kansas

I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.

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(913): I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago. http://tfl.nu/uh8m

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(619): View more from California

My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.

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(619): My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can. http://tfl.nu/8tit

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(712): View more from Iowa

They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.

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(712): They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem. http://tfl.nu/r408

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed

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(902): There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed http://tfl.nu/rsjn

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(716): View more from New York

You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.

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(716): You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough. http://tfl.nu/zxfj

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(651): View more from Minnesota

No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

She still started it.

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(651): No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister. (1-651): She still started it. http://tfl.nu/h5sx

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(281): View more from Texas

Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.

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(281): Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute. http://tfl.nu/xxsd

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(919): View more from North Carolina

No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.

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(919): No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you. http://tfl.nu/9kp9

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(330): View more from Ohio

Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.

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(330): Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum. http://tfl.nu/36en

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.

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(651): I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen. http://tfl.nu/ant7

Replies (9) Good night (2305) Bad night (413)
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(619): View more from California

I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands

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(619): I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands http://tfl.nu/vlc3

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(956): View more from Texas

WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!

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(956): WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?! http://tfl.nu/nv7y

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(514): View more from Quebec

please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him

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(514): please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him http://tfl.nu/t57p

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(408): View more from California

i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still

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(408): i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still http://tfl.nu/f9lt

Replies (3) Good night (131) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt

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