plz talk dirty to me
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin