Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".