Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.