i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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