capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
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In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK