I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
zippers are such a cool invention
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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