I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
