the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
