I think I just saw someone hide a body.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
