Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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