nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize