I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
