I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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