Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
