This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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