she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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