do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
