hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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