Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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