So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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