Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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