Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
