glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
