Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
