This is not my ceiling
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
