some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
