It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
