it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
