:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Randomize
