Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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