There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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