whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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