i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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