did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize