38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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