if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize