Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
