that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
