Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize