i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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