I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize