Sober January is a disaster.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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