I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
