So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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