If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
