he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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