My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
