Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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