Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
