WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Can vaginas get frostbite?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
this is an emotional support booty call
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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