it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.