thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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