i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
