She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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