she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize