Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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