No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
