I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
