I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
