Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If that was your dad, he is hot
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
