She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
